Joy is in the voice of love - He ‘olina leo ka ke aloha
Dec 16, 2018
Written by Crystal Ra
Edited by Michael
Part 1
I do not remember exactly when I was introduced to the Hawaiian word 'Ohana' (family) for the very first time, but I instantly liked it. Over the years as I kept coming back to Hawaii, I started to understand that this word is not just a word, it is a whole concept of its own.
It is one of the most essential core elements of the Hawaiian life and lifestyle.
I truly believe that we as spirits may choose our blood families ahead of time. Most of us have struggles and challenges during the early childhood and teenage years with our parents and siblings. I believe that we choose these circumstances and conditions in order to learn, become stronger and more aware and conscious of who we are and what we are here for. It is a preparation phase for our true life mission on Earth.
My background has certainly helped me to become strong, independent and a persistent person with my Estonian background flavored with 15 years of living outside of Estonia.
I am not the giving up type. If someone told me something was not possible I showed them how it was possible. Maybe these qualities are the key for Estonia's long history with such a small nation? We dare to go that extra mile and take risks if need to be.
I have a heart of an explorer and this has made it possible for me to create a new life and a new happy and healthy family of my own. But it was not an easy route. It took me almost 20 years after I left my childhood home to really get the concept of 'family' in general not to talk about 'Ohana.'
I just recently had an insight how after leaving my childhood home my main subconscious program was to create a family and I looked for it in all my relationships. To have a good family was the highest level of success in my mind at that time. After my very first attempt failed I felt like the biggest failure on this planet. It took me almost 10 years to heal from that experience. But it was the very thing which made me the strongest for my future years.
My very first experience with the real 'Ohana' was with the family Milt and Christine Mendes who lived at the time in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii, the Big Island, who rented me their little downstairs space. Milt has roots in Hawaii and his family had grown Kona coffee in the past and now it was his turn. Even when they were not physically at home, they had someone taking care of their home and making me feel welcomed with a basket of fruits and many tropical flowers in my living quarters.
Over the years we got more connected and at times when they needed help with some different projects and when I was able to - I stepped up to help them. After my dad died suddenly of lung and liver cancer in Estonia I spent some extra time in Hawaii, in their beautiful home to heal and mourn. Part of my healing therapy was working in their lovely garden and being part of the family. It was the best gift anyone could have given me during that really hard and challenging time.
Milt and Christine had found each other via a newspaper add and they were and still are my 'Aloha Ohana' idols. I remember this one time when I left Hawaii and they were busy and had to leave without a proper aloha hug and they left me a card which was so touchy that I cried for hours.
For the very first time in my life – I felt I mattered, what I said mattered and that I was needed and what I had to say was valued. I started to call them my Hawaiian parents and 'Ohana' and they started to call me their 'adopted daughter.' It almost felt like my passed away parents were orchestrating all these events to happen so I would not feel so alone.
When my dad died of cancer only a week after he went to the hospital I had neither of my biological parents alive any more. Even though I did not really get much direct support or help from them when I was small or even as an adult, it was still comforting to know they were alive.
One other time Milt made his carrot and ginger muffins and put some of those into my travel bag. Once I took the first bite on my plane from New York to Europe I started to cry. I could feel his 'mana' – 'life force' as well aloha and the feeling of 'Ohana.' It touched me so deeply. There was so much love and care in that act.
Many times I have been included in different types of the Hawaiian 'Ohanas'. Whether it was the free diving club group, or people who swam in the ocean in the mornings, or the recent canoe club – I started to heal my blood family wounds. In these 'Ohanas' I felt included and part of something bigger.
Since I started paddling in the local canoe club here in Kailua-Kona - it felt like I stepped into this Hawaiian field of knowledge understanding what 'Ohana' actually meant. At times it felt like I traveled back in time and was the Hawaiian in the canoe. Especially the times when the dolphins came to escort us. It felt so ancient, so natural.
It is kind of like when you go and scuba dive you may scare all the fishes and wild life away with your bubbles in contrary to when you free-dive – you move like a silent water creature and you become part of the 'ocean' – 'moana' 'family' – 'Ohana.' The same with motored boats – they scare animals away – but with the canoe – you are quiet and you glide through the waters in a natural way – using your muscle power and presence.
“Hawaiians say that ' He ola ka pōhaku a hea make ka pōhaku' - meaning – there is life in the stone and death in the stone. According to the Hawaiian worldview stones represent the gods, earth and relationships. They symbolize the close relationships that Hawaiians have with the earth and with each other.
The Hawaiian word for family is 'Ohana.' Ohā means 'taro corm growing from old root,' and is used to refer to offspring or children. A closely related word, 'oha' means 'spreading (as vines), thriving, grow lush, to show joyous affection, friendship, or love. We are all related in whatever way we look at it. We are not only related to other human, but also to all of the earth's creations. Tapping into our relations with others allows us to grow, to thrive, to flourish. By relating to others with joyous affection, friendship, and love, we experience a sense of belonging, identity, purpose, and inspiration.” (Quote from Mana cards – Katherine Kalama Becker, Doya Nardin.)
Beautiful stone ritual in Waipio Valley - November 2016
***
This is all for today. Thank you for taking time to read our stories.
Share with us about your experiences with family and 'Ohana.'
Do you have special 'Ohana' who are there for you and back you up when you need it and who you can always count on?
Next week you can read more about my 'Ohana' experiences in Mexico and what is another important detail in every Hawaiian 'Ohana.'
Our ' Hui' team 'Hōkū' from Kai 'Opua canoe club. I am so lucky and grateful for that experience! Mahalo!
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